Cut It Off and Throw It From You

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

As a Christian, have you considered what one thing you could do that would transform your personal life, family and marriage? Would you like more time, creativity and productivity? This will add an average of ten productive years to your life while allowing you to energize your most important relationships. Nearly 99% of households are victims of a misplaced trust.

When we have talked to couples about how to improve their marriage relationships, we have found that they frequently need more time to relate. Yet, almost 66% of Americans watch television while eating dinner. And in relating to our children, it has been found that more than half of 4-6 year olds would rather watch television than relate to their Dad. This is while studies have shown that children spend less than four minutes each week in meaningful conversation with their parents. Maybe, as a Dad, I need to have surround sound and do a commercial every few minutes.

I have been and could be just as much a television addict as anyone. But, years ago, we felt God was leading us to get rid of it. It wasn’t easy, but once it was out of the house, amazing things began to happen. One of those things was that our sons began to be readers. They sometimes became almost too creative. When we tell our story, it seems like many wives would like to get rid of the television but their husband won’t give up their televised sports. Could this verse apply? “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

We are voluntarily giving up our energy, time and relationships to this one-eyed serpent. How many wonderful goals and plans have been sacrificed on the altar of the Game of the Week, the History Channel and “Good Morning, America”. It doesn’t much matter what we get out of it because it is costing too much. It feeds us the food of worldly conformity while stealing the opportunity for our future to be transformed. So, if your television causes you to sin, cut it off.

"If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire.” -- Jesus

Project:
Commit to no television during meals.
Ask God for His perspective and will.

Percentage of households that have a television: 99
Number of TV sets in the average U.S. household: 2.24
Percentage of U.S. homes with three or more TV sets: 66
Number of hours per day that TV is on in an average U.S. home: 6 hours, 47 minutes
Percentage of Americans that regularly watch television while eating dinner: 66
Number of hours of TV watched annually by Americans: 250 billion
Value of that time assuming an average wage of S5/hour: S1.25 trillion
Percentage of Americans who pay for cable TV: 56
Number of videos rented daily in the U.S.: 6 million
Number of public library items checked out daily: 3 million
Percentage of Americans who say they watch too much TV: 49

II CHILDREN
Approximate number of studies examining TV's effects on children: 4,000
Number of minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful
conversation with their children: 3.5
Number of minutes per week that the average child watches television: 1,680
Percentage of day care centers that use TV during a typical day: 70
Percentage of parents who would like to limit their children's TV watching: 73
Percentage of 4-6 year-olds who, when asked to choose between watching TV
and spending time with their fathers, preferred television: 54
Hours per year the average American youth spends in school: 900 hours
Hours per year the average American youth watches television: 1500

III VIOLENCE
Number of murders seen on TV by the time an average child finishes elementary school: 8,000
Number of violent acts seen on TV by age 18: 200,000
Percentage of Americans who believe TV violence helps precipitate real life mayhem: 79

IV. COMMERCIALISM
Number of 30-second TV commercials seen in a year by an average child: 20,000
Number of TV commercials seen by the average person by age 65: 2 million
Percentage of survey participants (1993) who said that TV commercials
aimed at children make them too materialistic: 92
Rank of food products/fast-food restaurants among TV advertisements to kids: 1
Total spending by 100 leading TV advertisers in 1993: $15 billion

V. GENERAL
Percentage of local TV news broadcast time devoted to advertising: 30
Percentage devoted to stories about crime, disaster and war: 53.8
Percentage devoted to public service announcements: 0.7
Percentage of Americans who can name The Three Stooges: 59
Percentage who can name at least three justices of the U.S. Supreme Court: 17
Compiled by TV-Free America
1322 18th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20036
(202) 887-4036

Don't Love Me So Much

“I'll see what GOD will say to me this time.” (Numbers 22:19)

Balaam could see a great treasure coming if only God would let him go and curse the Israelites. But, God had already said, “No.” Now Balaam comes yet again and even though there had been basically zero change in the situation, Balaam asks God to give direction because he was hoping God would change His mind. And, God appeared to. But, it was not in order for Balaam to get what he wanted. Rather, God sent Balaam to bless rather than curse His people. If we insist on our own way, God will let us go there. But, we will not reap the results we anticipated.

Most of us have, at one time or another badgered or tricked our parents or other authority into changing their minds and letting us do something that we were excited about. Children may feel like their parents don’t want them to have fun or don’t “trust them”. But, once I became a parent, my perspective suddenly broadened. A parent’s love leads them to try to cause their children to suffer the loss of friends and activities that would be damaging to the child. Unless the child always gets his way, it is inevitable that a parent will have to suffer their child’s misunderstanding. Even when a child succeeds in doing an “end run” around their parents, the result will not be what they had hoped for. One result is usually that the fooled parent will eventually find out about the trick and then the level of trust will be even lower.

After becoming a parent and raising children, I had a much different perception of my parent’s love for me. One example is the time I had my heart set on getting a motorcycle and my Dad said “No, I won’t sign your death certificate.” I pouted about that for a long time. After becoming a parent, I had a new perspective on the incident and I felt I had to go to my parents and express gratefulness for their protection from bad decisions that I wanted to make. I have also asked forgiveness for sins that I had tried to hide from them.

How many children get angry and leave home to escape their parent’s authority so they can make genuinely healthy choices? I haven’t seen many. There are a few abusive parents who may be ordering their children into sin. But, the great majority of parents are motivated by a sacrificial love for their children. They are even willing to sacrifice their child’s understanding, friendship and love in order to protect that child. Of course, parents also make mistakes and can be overly protective. Yet, we should appreciate their good intentions and respect their burden of responsibility. Sometimes God or even a parent will love us more than we love ourselves and we don't realize that we may end up actually saying, "Don't love me so much."

Project:
Express gratefulness to your parents.
Confess and ask forgiveness for wrong responses to their love. (Be specific)
Let's sincerely commit ourselves to seeking and doing God's will.
Let's Ask God for an alarm to go off in our spirit when we are beginning to demand our own way.
--

Bubbling

“All my springs of joy are in you.” (Psalms 87:7 NASB)

As Ouida came down the aisle in her wedding dress, she caught a glimpse of a neighbor - Mrs. McNutt. Mrs. McNutt raised one finger toward heaven and, knowing Mrs. McNutt, Ouida knew what she was signaling, “Make Jesus Number One.” I wish we had done it more and earlier in our marriage but, by God’s grace, we began to understand the vital importance of her silent exhortation.

Some moments of joy that stick in my memory are holding our new little baby (what a miracle), hearing the laughter of our little child, hearing a child give his heart to Jesus, baptizing my child, seeing Mercy take her first steps after so many prayers for her, seeing a son (a young adult) voluntarily become a leader of young people toward Christ, having a daughter leave home and comfort with a desire to bring the light of Christ into the darkness, seeing our son and his wife desiring and seeking to have God at the center of their marriage, hearing a daughter so touched by God that she asked forgiveness, having a son change direction because of a deeper desire to do what God wanted, having sons voluntarily and at their own expense attend a seminar to seek God’s direction to make an eternal impact. Our greatest joys have come out of seeing God’s touch on our family in various ways.

“All my springs of joy are in you.” This verse expresses the idea that joy springs out of our relationship with God. It reminds me of Sunday’s sermon on one of the fruits of the Spirit – joy. It was brought out that one of the goals of modern advertising is to cause us to lose our joy by making us feel discontent if we don’t have their product: a certain wonderful car, granite cabinet tops or whatever they want to sell us. Instead of choosing to seek to fill the vacuum in our souls with Him who created it, we are tempted to try to stuff it full of things, strange sights or exotic experiences. Joy is not something we can buy or a feeling we can generate by positive thinking. If we fall for the lie that stuff will replace a relationship with the Creator then we may have a merry time for a while but we will eventually find ourselves wandering in a joyless wasteland. Let’s seek and do all we can to grow our relationship with Christ because joy is a fruit -- a fruit of the Holy Spirit bubbling up in our hearts, lives and families.

The Mirror's Answer

"Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who is the fairest of us all?"

Which of the following people are or were genuinely successful?

The most famous athlete? (Lance Armstrong?) (in ten years will anyone care?)
A poor carpenter in an obscure village marries a pregnant girl. (Joseph, Mary’s Husband)
The richest man in the world? (Bill Gates?) (in fifty years will he care?)
An obscure shepherd brings a “care” package to his brothers in the army. (David)
The most famous woman in the world? (Hillary Clinton?) (a "has been" in twenty years or less)
A slave who is a forgotten prisoner. (Joseph, son of Jacob)

"BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH." (Romans 1:17)

How do you define success? Is it fame, beauty, wealth, power or athletic achievement? The Bible defines success much differently. Genuine success is rooted in faith in God, depends on our ability to hear His direction, and is revealed in our obedience to His direction in our various roles as parent, marriage partner, provider, and so on.

the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away. (James 1:11)

The recent widespread destruction by massive storms has emphasized the insecurity of worldly treasure. In the long run, it does not actually matter whether we are rich, powerful, pretty or famous because those things are extremely temporary. Yet, it is terribly easy to be more focused on our finances, shelter, education and appearance than on hearing and obeying God. To be successful for the long haul, the most important part of your day, week and year is actually the time spent growing in faith and getting focused on God’s character, priorities and direction. In the long run, it doesn't matter how much money we made, what plaques hang on the wall or what position we command. What matters is our relationships. Do we walk with the Lover of our soul? Who have we walked with, talked to and loved into God's Kingdom? Our ability to look pretty in front of the mirror is infinitely less important than our ability to see ourselves in the mirror of God's Word and ask, "How do I need to change?" What is the mirror's answer?

Project:
· Let’s ask God to help us embrace His perspective on success.
· Let’s take time to evaluate the basic goals of our life, plans and day.
-- Plan and Act --
· Let’s plan daily time to focus on Truth (find someone to partner with in this)
· Let’s plan weekly time to seek Wisdom (a man's friends will determine whether he grows in wisdom or folly)
· Let’s schedule yearly retreats to recalibrate our Success Seeking mechanism.

to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints.. Romans 1:7

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

--

Muscle Power

And He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter; “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? (Mark 14)

It’s been more than 35 years since I watched the Academy award winning movie. Yet, scenes from the R-rated movie began fill my mind as I read this chapter in Mark. I’ve heard of other people having trouble with temptations to think wrong even as they were trying to pray. Why does God allow these temptations at such a time? Could it be that that time is the time when we’re most likely to respond to the temptation in the right way?

I remembered the idea someone suggested of super-imposing the image of Jesus dying on the cross over the immoral images. He died to redeem us from these sins and then He overcame death itself. He has given me beauty in place of ashes. Lord, you have redeemed my life from the trash heap. I once more offer it to you. Give me your Spirit for this day’s challenges and temptations.

Whether we see it or not, we are in the middle of a war. Prayerlessness is a recipe for weakness in the face of temptation. It doesn’t matter what I think is a good idea. What matters is what Jesus said. “Keep watching and praying, that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” If Peter had obeyed Jesus’ exhortation, he might have avoided denying being Jesus’ follower and the resulting pain, sorrow and regret.

Temptations are inevitable. But, giving in to temptation always costs us more than we expect and always leads to sorrow and regret. Most of us already have more regrets than we want. Why get in line for more? Daily watching and praying with Jesus is absolutely vital to avoiding terrible regrets. Religious activity and motion do not give strength to your spirit. Spiritual muscle power comes from spending time with Jesus.

A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. (Proverbs 22:3)

Project:
Let’s commit before God to daily spending time alone with Jesus.

Making Mudpies

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. (Matthew 16:24)

As a Dad of older children, I can no longer effectively compel obedience. In the same way, a leader in the Church can not force church members to submit to his direction. Jesus showed the basic principle of leadership. His followers wanted to follow Him. They trusted his direction because of His relationship to His Father. They recognized or sensed that He spoke Truth and walked in the way of Right but even more importantly they could see Real Love. We can be effective leaders of our families, government or church only if we are first followers -- followers of Jesus.

Jesus demonstrated that a genuine leader must accept suffering. Suffering is involved in having responsibility for and in caring about those under his authority. But, some who are in the position of leadership find it easier to evade, escape or bulldoze. Even though they have the position, they are not true leaders. Some husbands are controlled by their wives because it is too much trouble to disagree, others get divorces, and some are tyrants. These escapes from suffering only lead to more suffering in the long run.

Scripture says wives should submit to their husbands. But, husbands are not told to demand submission. Rather, they are called to a love that will sacrifice everything for their wife and family. In other words, they are ready to sacrifice their friends, hobby, entertainment, privacy, time, money and life for the highest good of those they love and lead. What wife would not willingly submit to such love. Yet, there are some. And, part of the suffering the leader must accept is to sacrificially give and still be misunderstood, rejected and reviled. Who has this kind of love? Unconditional, sacrificial love that can go on forever is impossible unless we are plugged into the source of love.

Why is it we know the name of Peter, Matthew or Luke today? These were obscure men who became leaders and historic figures for only one reason – their relationship to Christ. This is the key to each of our lives. To be effective leaders who make an eternal impact, we must have a genuine, living relationship with Christ. Otherwise, we are, at best, still playing at making mudpies or, even worse, a tool of destruction.

Project:
- Let's each ask God to imprint His vision for us in our mind
- And Let's ask Him to empower us to move in the direction of His vision
- Choose one of the verses in this article to memorize.
- Consider it’s meaning in your life and circumstances.
- Change your thinking (In Jesus, we actually have power to change)

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)

The foundation of God stands sure, having this seal, The Lord knows them that are his. And, Let every one that names the name of Christ depart from iniquity. (2 Tim 2:19)

Get A Grip

And taking the twelve again, he began to tell them what was to happen to him, saying, "See, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death and deliver him over to the Gentiles. And they will mock him and spit on him, and flog him and kill him. And after three days he will rise."

Things seemed to be going well as I sat behind the wheel of our little (and almost antique) tractor as I mowed some of the tall grass in a pasture close to our house. All of the sudden, as I maneuvered between a couple of small trees, the tractor took a tremendous jolt and slammed to a halt. I had crossed over a small gully hidden by the tall grass and brush. Now, as I tried to go forward or backward, the wheels just spun. The rear wheels of the tractor were suspended over the gully and, no matter how much power I gave them, they could not get traction. We had to use a “come-along” to drag the tractor far enough to get traction.

As I read the above verse where Jesus clearly explained that he would be killed and rise again, I thought of the problem of traction. The disciples refused to accept Jesus’ words and when the event came, they were paralyzed with despair, fear and disbelief. Even though they had spent three years with Jesus, their refusal to hear and believe Jesus’ warning about His death and resurrection caused them to “lose traction”. Even the testimony of trusted friends was not enough to ignite hope. Jesus had to personally appear to them to pull them out of the ditch of fear and depression.

The strength and depth of our belief is revealed when a crisis comes. Jesus has given us knowledge of Him, information about the future and promises that we can choose to grip in such times. Does our faith have traction when a temptation or a storm hits or do we turn again to our own resources, worldly wisdom or dark despair? When death shows its pale face do we remember Jesus’ promise, “In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” When men or even friends threaten us because we won’t give in to temptation, do we remember Jesus’ words, “But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.”

The more Truth we know and genuinely believe, the greater our grip on actual reality. If our faith is anchored in the character of Jesus and His Words, then, in a crisis, we will not be paralyzed by fear, anger or despair. Instead, we will have traction that will allow us to encourage others, to be a light in the darkness and to manifest the love of Christ. But, even if we lose our grip on reality as described by Jesus, He will not abandon us. He will rescue us from our paralysis and darkness. Let’s soak in God’s Word because it is a window through which we can see and get a grip on Reality.

Project: (Let's do SOMETHING different)
- Take time today, tomorrow and everyday to read God's Word
- Choose a truth that you want to grip firmly and memorize it.
- Meditate on that truth until it becomes part of you and how you think.
- Repeat

Waist-deep in Alligators

"If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all." (Mark 9:35)

Can you imagine a family operating as a democracy with children having an equal vote with the parents? We know that such a situation would often lead to disaster. But, most children eventually become parents and must lead a family. Our goal as parents is to help our children accept Jesus as Lord, find wisdom, grow in knowledge and manifest genuine love.

Most of our teaching as parents will come from our example in how we relate to God, our wives, our children and to our neighbors. Are we under Jesus’ authority? Do we search for wisdom from God? Does my life have the light of God’s love shining out into the world? Recently, I was struck by the many flaws in my character, life and example. The realization of my self-centeredness and hardheartedness caused me to cry and sob.

It’s very possible to win the war of words while walking in the path of self-centeredness. In other words, we can generally justify our choices and actions to others but especially to our selves. A family can develop tremendous pressures and our response, as parents or spouse, to those pressures is critical. My response has not always been the best. Too often, I’ve failed to grasp the opportunity to be a servant to those in need.

If we are not consistently looking into the mirror of God’s Word and seeing our real character, needs and challenges, then we will naturally tend to walk in self deception. If you are choosing your leaders, choose carefully. If those who are our leaders are neglecting God’s Word or are failing to be changed by the Holy Spirit, then they will lead us into a swamp and we will end up waist-deep in alligators.

Project:
Let’s pray daily for our leaders or parents.
Let’s pray that God would reveal the needs of those under our authority or influence.
Let’s ask God to empower and guide us in how to help meet the needs.

--

Provoking People

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Hebrews 10:24

One of my high school classes had a teacher who could not control her class. They learned how to drive her to extreme measures. The noise from that class distracted the neighboring classes. I was in a neighboring class and, in addition to the noise; even an occasional eraser would come flying in the window from next door. The goal of the troublemakers was to drive the teacher to such desperation that she would climb up on her desk and repeatedly blow a whistle. Every few days we would know that they had succeeded when we would begin to hear that angry whistle.

It is extremely easy for us to provoke another person. In fact, from early childhood most of us have studied other people and how to punch their “buttons”. Many marriage relationships revolve around how to trigger one another’s core fears so that we can control or change our spouse.

Many years ago, we somehow got into a contest in our family devotions. Some of the children persisted in keeping their eyes closed while we read and talked about Scripture and how to apply it in our lives. This constantly triggered one of my core fears of being invalidated. In contrast, some of our children who have become adults have encouraged their younger siblings by becoming examples of alertness and participation.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a responsibility to fellow believers to be leaders in good works, worship and in seeking God. This Scripture calls us to study and meditate on how to stir up love and good works in others. One way is to propose and carry out projects that help others, involve others and inspire others. If we are parents, it is vital to consider whether our example is provoking our children to love and good works. Let’s ask God to help us become provoking people.

Project:
Let's consider, plan and carry out a project to help with the needs resulting from Hurricane Katrina.

Wine -- Drinking and Thinking

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. (Eph 5:18)

We were guests of an unbelieving stranger in a strange culture. As was his custom, he offered us a little wine before we shared in a meal at his home. Should we accept or reject this sign of hospitality?

Some controversy has recently been raised among friends about whether the Bible teaches that a little wine (alcoholic) is okay for a Christian. This is a topic that has been a subject of debate among Christians for a long time. There are many people on both sides of the issue. This can even be seen in what is served during Communion by various congregations. Some churches serve alcoholic wine and others serve grape juice. Since there are strong forces on both sides of the issue it means that there is evidence to support both sides of the issue. So, we should not judge a congregation or a person based on their belief about wine. What is more important than what goes in the mouth is what comes out of the heart. What spirit is being manifest?

There are many books available on this subject. One that I recommend can be seen at http://www2.andrews.edu/~samuele/books/wine_in_the_bible/1.html.

Personally, I believe that Jesus did not make alcoholic wine at the wedding. As the above book points out, our definition of the words translated "wine" may be different than 2000 years ago. And, our preconceptions about technology can cause us to arrive at false conclusions. In my opinion, it is definitely best to avoid alcoholic drinks. But, what we drink is less important than what we think. What we think is greatly affected by who we associate with and what we hear and see. What goes in our eyes and ears often has a much greater affect on our life than what goes in our mouth and eventually determines what we put in our mouth. As first priority, let's first consider what we should change in our brain intake.

If one of us drinks alcohol, it might be good to ask, "Why?" When this stranger offered me a drink of wine, I accepted because I felt a rejection would raise a wall to our communication about God's love. This bit of wine was my first alcoholic drink in years and probably my last. My reason was to communicate God's love. Even though what we drink and eat is vitally important to our health, it is even more important to make it our first priority to grow in love by seeking to be filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. What we think is much more critical than what we drink.

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.