Only On Father's Day

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you. (Exodus 20)

I recently spoke to a man who had a portrait of his grandfather in his office. When I asked about it, he said that his grandfather was the greatest man that ever lived. Then he paused and said, "except for One." This man honored his grandfather in his heart and in his words. His honor was obviously sincere.

This commandment to honor is repeated many times in the Bible. And, this is the season that we are encouraged by business to show honor by finding things to buy for our parents. Yet, like the rest of the Ten Commandments, this commandment can be genuinely obeyed only when our actions and words are a sincere manifestation of our internal thoughts and attitudes. A person who speaks to his mother only at Christmas and Mother's day obviously has a relationship problem and does not genuinely love and honor her.

The quality of our honor and respect for our parents is not manifest in occasional gifts but in the positive energy of our relationship. If we find their presence tiresome, their ideas boring and generally have more important things to do than to talk to them, then our relationship will manifest our attitudes with infrequent visits and conversation. Also, if we speak of them to others with respect and honor, when they are not around, it demonstrates that our words come from our heart rather than just our lips.

" A son honors his father, and a servant his master Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?' says the LORD of hosts to you, .. Malachi 1

In the same way, the quality of our honor and love for God is shown in the energy of our relationship with Him. Do we actually desire to hear His words and understand His ideas? Or, do we find time listening and talking to Him to be boring, tiresome and less important than reading the news or watching our favorite sports entertainment? Do we honor Him with purified hearts or do we enter into "worship" or "communion" with hidden sins. Do we bring hatred and resentment to the table? Maybe we bring hatred toward a relative, spouse, ex-spouse, or neighbor? If we bring resentment and hatred to worship, then we clearly haven't honored God's desire and command to do all we can to be reconciled.

In some of the other commandments, God makes it clear that He desires us to honor and respect Him. In Jesus, God has made it very clear the extremes that He will go to in order to be reconciled with us. Yet, the choice of entering into a genuine relationship with Him depends on us changing our minds about sin and about our priorities. It has been estimated that, in the United States, at least 80% of those who call themselves Christian are actually false converts. They believe in Jesus but they have not truly repented of their wrong desires, their favorites sins and especially of being boss of their own lives. Let's test ourselves. Do I really want God's will and direction in my life? If so, when was the last time I read the Bible to see how it applied to my life? Was it today or only on Sunday, Christmas, Easter, or Father's Day?

Loving Solutions

This book sounds like one that could be very helpful and is one that I will be reading soon. I suspect each of us sometimes falls into the category of being a difficult spouse (I know I am sometimes a challenge to live with) or having a difficult spouse. Even if we have a wonderful marriage and there are no problems between us and our spouse, there will be friends and relatives that we could possibly help with this information. Have any of you read it? If so, please comment on the book here.

A book recommendation: Loving Solutions - by Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages )

The book for those married to difficult or unresponsive spouses, Loving Solutions shares practical insight into dealing with the irresponsible, workaholic, controlling, uncommunicative, verbally abusive, physically abusive, sexually abused, unfaithful, alcoholic, drug abusing, or depressed spouse. At best it will help you do things that will lead to a positive change, at worst it will help you deal with the situation in a way that reduces your frustration.

There Appears To Be Only Death

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." --Jesus (Matthew 19:6)

Dear X,

While I can not fully appreciate your suffering because I have not been through the total breakdown of a marriage relationship, every man or woman who has been married for several years, has probably seen at least glimpses of that pain in their marriages. Even though Jesus indicated divorce could happen, He made it clear that it would be like being physically torn apart. So, tremendous pain and suffering is and will be the result. Studies show that children are better off in a family with estranged parents living in the same house than when they separate or get divorced. Separation and divorce seem like a way to rest from the pain of the relationship. But, the suffering goes on through the children. And, it can be terrible to see their suffering.

So, while you have resentment toward your wife and no longer know the inner person, she is the mother of your children and the person that you vowed before God and man to love whether well or sick (and she is spiritually sick), rich or poor and through thick and thin. It's hard to say and harder to do, but if you don't fight this divorce tooth and toenail, you will join in the responsibility for whatever crop it produces in your children. Whether you end up divorced or not, you are called to continue to do all you can to be reconciled.

Consider how we rejected God. We turned against God. We joined up with Satan and gave him our loyalty. I did not desire a relationship with the Lover of my soul. But, God did not just turn his back on us and say, "Go to hell." He struggled for us through our rejection, ridicule, flogging and crucifixion. Jesus' life and death says, "I will love you even though I don't know the person you have become. I will love you even though you hate me. I will love you no matter what you do to me."

Even though you admit you are partly at fault in the relationship breakdown, you do not have to be a party to the decision to blow it up. You are the father of your children and, for their sake, you are called to lay down your desires for another love relationship and to continue to struggle in this relationship to give them a better future. I'm sure you realize that you do not have the strength for this approach. But, God will give you grace for it if you will determine to stand by your word and fight for your children and your wife. If you win, the bride you married that seems to have died will reappear someday and will thank you. Your children will thank you for fighting to keep your vow. But now, she will hate you for taking this position. You have been terribly wounded. Are you a man of your word? Will you keep your vow that you made to God? God wants to give you grace. I know you do not want to fight on and do not want to hear this. You can do it. Do it for your children, do it for the bride that you married that seems to have died, and do it for God who died for you to see you become his son. Pray for grace to be Jesus to your family. He will give you grace to carry this cross and even to be crucified. God can bring new life where there appears to be only death.

God's desire for each of us:
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
And your land, "Married";
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married. (Isaiah 62:4)

Tips for Men Wanting To Be Successful

The president of a very successful company would follow a curious procedure when he was considering hiring a new executive. First, he would take the prospective executive out to eat at a restaurant. When they received the menu, the president would carefully watch to see if the man looked at the food first or the price first. If he focused on the food before checking the price, he failed the test.

During the meal, the president would ask his guest to pour half a glass of water for him. If the water went well beyond the halfway mark, this test was failed for not following instructions. These tests might seem insignificant to us, but not for this CEO. He has learned through much experience the wisdom of God’s three tests of a faithful man.

-- The character of a servant is revealed in little decisions. --

The three tests of a faithful servant are given to us in Luke 16:10–13. They are:

1. Being faithful in little things.
2. Being faithful with money.
3. Being faithful in carrying out another man’s work.

Those who pass these three tests are likely to have the following qualities, which are essential qualities of a faithful servant:

* Availability: Adjusting my schedule in order to accomplish the tasks that are assigned to me. This quality is the result of choosing to serve another rather than ourselves.

* Initiative: Seeing what needs to be done and doing it. All achievement begins with initiative. God demonstrated initiative when He created the world and when He provided redemption for us through Christ.

* Diligence: Accepting each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my resources to accomplish it. A diligent man will never lack for a job, because his boss cannot afford to lose him.

* Creativity: Finding a new and more efficient approach to accomplish a project. Every task will encounter obstacles that stop the average worker but become exciting challenges to the creative servant.

* Wisdom: Choosing the right course by listening to the counsel of God and others. A creative idea may be a foolish solution. A wise and creative person will act in harmony with the laws of nature and of God.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean [obscure] men” (Proverbs 22:29).

I have known many men who are in constant jeopardy of losing their jobs because they do not excel in these five essential qualities. It would be wise to go to a trusted friend and ask him to rate your demonstration of each quality on a scale of 1–10. Remember that the wounds of a true friend are faithful (see Proverbs 27:6), and thank him for his honesty. Then, let’s do all we can to develop these vital qualities so that we can be honorable examples of a servant of Christ. (from Daily Success)

Our attitude in "little" things like seemingly unimportant leisure minutes, our boss's preferences or even care of tools or possessions will carry over to things that are of definite importance to us. We will try hard to be successful in the big things but the automatic responses of our attitudes will, in many cases, determine whether we actually achieve all our goals. May God help us to see where our attitudes need adjustment and give us grace to change.

… Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant” (Matthew 20:26–27).
--
Subscribe to "Daily Success" (through learning to think like Jesus).

A Bag of Stones

A man was walking late one night to a distant town when he stumbled upon something in the road. Reaching down, he picked up a small bag full of stones. He looked around and stared through the darkness, attempting to see if anyone had dropped them. Seeing no one, he decided to take the bag along with him on his long journey on a moonless night.

To pass the time, he started dropping the small stones in the river bordering the road. Plop . . . plop . . . the sound was harmless amusement for the bored traveler. When he reached his destination, he had only two stones left in the bag. Entering the town, he drew closer to a street lamp off the square. Cupping the two remaining stones in his palm, he looked at them under the yellow lamplight and saw an odd twinkle and luster to the stones. He peered closer. To his shock and dismay, the small, stones were actually diamonds!
A wise prison pastor who was able to lead many of his fellow prisoners to Christ related this small story on numerous occasions. He learned through suffering that every minute could be used to further God’s kingdom, no matter what the circumstance. He often admonished others, “You can regain lost money, but not lost time. Use your time wisely in God’s service.”

Thirty-two million seconds in every year, and each second we live is a precious gift from God to use for his purposes. If we waste them, the seconds return to God, but they will not return to us. They are gone forever, like the diamonds in the silt of the river bottom. Jesus, even while being crucified, spent his final breaths offering salvation to the robber and speaking words of comfort to his mother. He even ministered to his murderers by offering them forgiveness. Imagine how precious that time was to the thief who joined Jesus in heaven that day. Are you filling your precious moments with purpose? Ask God to show you how to redeem your time, not waste it.
(from Extreme Devotion)

Our culture, and the world in general, puts priority on things that are temporary and makes the eternal things of little value. An example of this is ignoring important relationships to work on favorite projects, watch TV, or even overdoing church activity. "The Mother's War" and "Fully Known by Our Lover", are articles that bring out how we can miss the truly important things in life in pursuit of goals that we've absorbed from the surrounding culture. The only way to get correct priorities is to be guided by God's Spirit, soak up God's Word and put His Kingship as first priority. Otherwise, we are ignorantly and carelessly tossing diamonds into the river.
--

toddlers 'become aggressive'

Another warning from Pediatricians about the danger of TV for young children. But, what about the rest of us? How many of us can look back and honestly say that we wished we had watched more TV? Watching TV basically produces nothing and accomplishes very little. Let's move in the direction of less TV and more productivity in our lives. By productivity, I mean improved relationships, personal growth and just getting things done. Tonight, try turning off the tube (or computer) and try talking to your neighbor, child or spouse (if he's not watching TV).

TV toddlers 'become aggressive'

Toddlers who watch too much television can become aggressive and suffer from poor attention span, a survey claims.

The report discovered that an increasing number of children are watching television at a younger age and that nearly half of children in the study were regular viewers of television, video or DVDs by the age of three months.

The figure jumps to 90 per cent of two year olds, according to researchers who say parents are ignoring the health warnings.

Even though the study was carried out in the US, psychologists warned that it had implications for Britain.

The findings, among 1,000 children and published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine journal, come after a psychologist in the UK claimed British children were also spending hours slumped in front of the small screen and it was "the greatest unacknowledged health threat of our time". [read more..]

By Sarah Womack, Social Affairs Correspondent

Last Updated: 2:33am BST 08/05/2007

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/05/08/ntvkids08.xml

Word Fire!

“… If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone … ” (Matthew 18:15).

There is significant danger when sharing with others how we have been or are being hurt by another individual. This sharing can lead to situations, "verbal fires", where it becomes more and more difficult to be reconciled. In addition, we should especially hesitate to say anything negative about anyone in print even if it is a message to that person. We don't want to fuel a fire with our words and especially with our printed words. In general, it seems much better to speak in person about negative things and only put positive things in print or e-mails. I haven't always succeeded in this resolve but it is my aim. Praise and criticism are magnified by how many get to hear it. Let's make it our goal to minimize the criticism and to expand the praise. A word fire is harder to put out and is more destructive than any other kind of fire.

Fully Known by Our Lover

We have eaten and drunk in your presence, and you have taught in our streets. But, he shall say, I tell you, I know you not.. -- Jesus (Luke 13:26)

In my marriage, I'm not primarily looking for my bride to be a good cook, a diligent mother, or to offer herself as a sex object. What I desire is to be intimately known, to be loved and to be respected. From her perspective, my bride wants me to communicate that I genuinely love her and understand her. If I diligently give her 30 minutes of "couch time" each day but do it out of duty, grudgingly or by constraint instead of love, then it does not really accomplish what it should.

In the same way, God is not primarily interested in how we work for Him, what we give to Him or what doctrine we believe about Him. Rather, He wants us to love and seek Him with all our hearts. Going to church, teaching a class or memorizing scripture does nothing in this direction unless it flows out of our love for God and our relationship with Him. I can say, "I love you", a hundred times a day to my wife but it means absolutely nothing if I don't desire to be with her, hear her voice and get to know her better. A husband might make a great effort to complete the "honey-do" list, but is it because he doesn't want to be nagged or because he wants to please his bride and bring her joy?

Our love for our spouse can become lip service. Our love for God can also become just an appearance. Let's check our love for God. Do we actually "want" to spend time with Him everyday? Do we find time for Him everyday? Do we hunger and thirst to hear His words? Do we treasure His words? Do we genuinely want to please Him?

It is easy to become distracted. And it's easy to acquire wrong desires and priorities. When we are threatened with the loss of a spouse, friend or child, then we see how upside-down our priorities have become. Let's stop and think. Am I really in love with Christ? How can I fall more fully in love with Him? God offers us the Holy Spirit so that we can truly love Him. Let's entreat God for more of His Spirit of love and for more grace to love Him and our neighbor. Let's know our Lover and be fully known by the Lover of our soul.

Strive to enter in at the strait gate.. -- Jesus (Luke 13:24)

Under Attack

Take heed that you do not despise any of these little ones, for I tell you, that in heaven their angels always behold the face of my Father in heaven. (Matt 18:10)

As a parent, I've sometimes (too often) let anger and irritation drive away the spirit of love and peace. I've sometimes put my desires, comfort and convenience ahead of providing a healthy emotional environment for our little ones.

In an analogous way, this world and culture makes noises about loving children while constantly waging war on children. From the time of conception until death, children are vulnerable and under attack. While the Church and government are supposed to be helping parents fulfill their responsibility, parents still have the primary responsibility. When a church or government is failing to help or even working against children, it is the parents who must recognize the danger and take to appropriate steps.

Consider how many children are being:

• killed before birth
• neglected (e.g. latch key kids)
• damaged by broken families
• orphaned and killed by war, immorality and disease
• sexually abused
• medically abused by drugging for school
• given an education based on godlessness
• fed lies instead of truth by the constant flow of electronic communication media
• indoctrinated and raised to be terrorists
• taught to worship false gods
• drawn into drugs and immorality
• unprepared for real life

The protection of children requires vigilance, activity and prayer. Choosing convenience, comfort or the path of least resistance (going with the flow) is essentially despising them to the extent that we won't suffer for them. Going with the flow will be like floating peacefully along until the current is so strong that we can not escape the destruction at the waterfall. If you are a parent, consider what influences are affecting your children. What can you do provide more truth, protection and growth in faith and love? Take action today.

First Hug Blessing

Granddad's First Hug blessing for Jonathan Douglas Boyd

May the Lord anoint you,
Jonathan Douglas,
to be His prophet
to go before His face.

May you be filled with the Holy Spirit
as John the Baptist was.

May God protect you from evil
and the evil influences of this culture.

May you, Jonathan Douglas,
be surrounded with Truth
and with examples of Christ-filled lives.

May the Lord train and equip you
to be a mighty spiritual warrior,
dangerous to the enemy.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
- Granddad