Hot Dates, Death Spirals and Energy Cycles

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5)

Genuine love always requires death. If we are to sincerely love our wife, husband, children or anyone else then we will be required to lay down “Self” interests. This seems to come a little more naturally to mothers and wives than to husbands. Women seem to be more tuned into the true language of love while men must work to learn it. But, in either case, we can not completely die to Self in our natural ability. To fully empty ourselves, we must find help beyond ourselves. This love is only possible for those who get power from God to move past the barriers and responses of the natural man.

Suppose a husband and wife have arranged a “hot date” and are both looking forward to it. But, when the time comes, the husband or wife is exhausted emotionally or physically or both. To praise God and rejoice in everything is naturally impossible. It can be done only as we admit our weakness, seek God for grace and receive His help for strength. Self interests may cause some men to make unreasonable demands, others may just manifest a bad attitude but we are called to fully die to self-interests and fully love.

Whatever our position in life, we will face disappointment or aggravation. Our natural response will almost certainly be the wrong one. Anyone who neglects his relationship with Jesus will miss out on the ability to respond in ways that go beyond his natural abilities and habits and this will often lead to negative cycles of wrong responses. These cycles can become relationship death spirals. But, if we can empty ourselves and receive God's grace we can respond in genuine love. When this happens we break out of the natural death spiral and enter into a cycle of energy, growth and life.

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15)