My Turf or God's Turf

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Just recently, one of my older children and I had a little blockage in our relationship. So, I sought out an opportunity to find out why I was getting the “cold shoulder”. I knew what incident had caused the problem but I thought that I had done the right thing in the situation. There were several people involved in this misunderstanding and, strangely enough, I thought I was one of the few who had responded correctly. But, what I began to hear was that my approach in trying to help had come across as an attempt by a parent to be controlling and had been perceived as an ultimatum.

My initial response to these comments was to defend myself and to point out what I felt were the problems that justified my approach. This did not help matters. A silence fell in the room. As I silently began praying that God would guide me and give me wisdom how to respond, it came to mind that I should look at the situation from the perspective of the one receiving my advice. We all know this approach but it is difficult to actually apply it. After trying to imagine how it would have felt for me to call me and say what I did, I began to comprehend a little of how I had caused pain. Finally, I realized that defending myself was only continuing to contribute to the problem. Everyone involved had made mistakes but my mistakes were my responsibility. I wanted the others to be asking for forgiveness but God wanted me to humble myself and admit my attempt to be controlling.

If we each defend our turf, then all we get is higher walls. Other people’s mistakes are not my primary responsibility. There is only one person I can change and I won’t change until I begin to admit to and ask forgiveness for my “tiny” failures. In these situations, I am always tempted to defend my failures even as I admit to them. But, my admission of failure won’t mean much as long as I continue to defend my actions or words. We all want the other person to say, “You’re right. I made a mistake. Please, forgive me for causing you to feel …..” God is calling each of us to lay down all our justifications and be that person. If we will humble ourselves and give up our "turf" to God then He will hear, pardon and heal.