A Hypocrite In The Family

But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil. -- Jesus (Matt 5:37)

I recently discover a hypocrite in our family. A couple of my sons recently said they would finish some homework “tonight”. But, when we rose in the morning the work had not been done. So, I woke them up an hour early to finish their work. They brought up excuses of “I forgot”, “I’ll do it later”, and “It’s not important.” But, it was their character quality of integrity that was important -- would they be men of their word or not?

After a couple of mini-sermons on the importance of character, being men of their word, and resisting temptation, they eventually got up and did the work. As I then got into my prayer time, my mini-sermons and these verses from Scripture continued to echo in my own mind. I suddenly realized that I had not kept my word to Ouida, my bride. I had told her that I would seek to have an in-depth conversation with her on a regular basis. But, I had not been keeping my word to her. Other things were getting higher priority. On top of that, this meant I had failed to keep my vow before God and man to love her “for better or worse”, and “in sickness and in health”. I was only keeping my promise and vow when it was convenient or suited my own selfish schedule and purposes.

So, I went to my Bride and told her what God had revealed to me about how I was a hypocrite in talking to my sons about being a man of integrity while failing to keep my word to her. I sincerely asked for her forgiveness. I was shocked when she told me that she had just been praying that God would help her with the feelings of hurt and loneliness that she had been feeling from my neglect. We prayed together and she told God that she forgave me for the hurt I had caused her and I asked God’s forgiveness and strength to keep my word.

I’m realizing how easy it is to be a liar to those I’m closest to. It’s easy and comes natural to make commitments and then find excuses to default on our obligations and responsibilities. Think about your relationship to your spouse, children, parents or co-workers. Are you making excuses for not “being there”, for not keeping your word, or not sincerely carrying through on your commitments as husband, wife, student, spiritual leader or employee? If so, let’s not whitewash the truth – we are liars, thieves and, worst of all, hypocrites. Yes, I found a hypocrite in the family and it was me.

Project:

• Let’s change our minds about the righteousness of our actions and bring our load of sin to Jesus at the cross. He has already paid the penalty we deserve.
• Let’s go to those we’ve damaged or hurt by not keeping our word and ask their forgiveness.

But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment. (James 5:12)

Day-To-Day Decisions

"The character

that takes command

in moments of crucial choices

has already been determined by

a thousand other choices

made earlier in seemingly unimportant moments.

It has been determined

by all the 'little' choices of years past—

by all those times when

the voice of conscience was at war

with the voice of temptation, which was whispering

the lie that

'it really doesn't matter.'

It has been determined by all

the day-to-day decisions

made when life seemed easy and

crises seemed far away—

the decision that,

piece by piece, bit by bit, developed

habits of discipline

or of laziness;

habits of self-sacrifice

or self-indulgence;

habits of duty and honor and integrity—

or dishonor and shame."

—Ronald Reagan

Reality Education

Education is undoubtedly valuable if you can put it to use. But, many dollars are being wasted on automatically sending children to college to study for some indefinite purpose or career. Many college graduates still don't know what they genuinely want in life. It's well known that a very low percentage of college graduates work in the same area in which they studied. But, is there any alternative? What do we do with our high school graduates? Is the best answer, "Let's send them to college"? We've had opportunity to try various approaches with the high school graduates in our family. The best results seem to have occurred when the student developed a definite vision for their future and took personal responsibility for educational direction and results. Maybe it would be better for those students who lack focus and vision to get out in the workplace, help with a ministry, or try to start a business. They might discover some real need for some real answers and then be able focus in on a real education. Instead of reality TV, we might have more reality education.

Now that hundreds of thousands of parents have discovered for themselves how the public school system is an incredibly inefficient and ineffective means of providing children with an education, it is interesting to note that some of them are beginning to turn skeptical eyes on the hallowed institution of the university.

I've written before regarding my own doubts about the logic of college, but a conversation with a friend who attended the Minnesota Association of Christian Home Educators annual conference last weekend got me thinking about the issue again. My friend, whose wife homeschools their children, had attended a workshop titled "Credentials without College," which resonated with him when he realized that he had never once had an employer ask for his diploma or review his college transcript. - "Nike University" - Vox Day

An Incredible Opportunity

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

After three weeks in college, I failed the first test I faced. This failure was one the best things that could have happened to me because it helped me to realize the truth. I had been subconciously thinking that I could be successful with the same slack or non-existent study habits that I had used in high school. But, this test failure exposed reality. It was one of the few times that I prayed while in college. But, I sincerely asked God to help me change and He did. Miraculously, I began to exercise self-discipline and to diligently study in all my subjects. By believing and acting on the revealed truth, I found new life as a student.

Many of us are taking in and believing lies or false philosophies. For example, we are told that music will not affect us morally. Yet, a movie maker carefully considers the music to be used in each scene. Movie makers know that music can be used to change the emotional and even the moral climate that is communicated in that scene. This exposes the lie. We are constantly bombarded with lies in many areas. Yet, it is incredibly easy to drift along with our defenses down, soaking in lies and truth without using any effective discernment.

If our inner thoughts are guided by God's perspective, then we will obviously avoid many foolish failures. Wisdom is seeing things from God's perspective. It is vitally important to our life for us to soak in God's Word and to seek His perspective on our goals, values and tribulations. Oftentimes, I want to reject the truth because it reveals my failure or weakness. Yet, we are called into the light of the truth. It took a failure for me to wake up to my need to make changes in my study habits. It is only when we face the truth about ourselves, admit our need and embrace a new path that we have any hope of finding genuine love, joy or success. Our next problem, trial or failure could be an incredible opportunity to discover life-giving wisdom that changes our heart and life. Don't let that opportunity slip through your fingers.

Christian Sex Rules

Christian Sex Rules
A guide to what's allowed in the bedroom
By Louis and Melissa McBurney

When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice. However, some are plagued with guilt because they wonder if what they're doing is sinful.

Marriage Partnership magazine receives many, many questions from Christian couples who want to know what is and what is not okay to do sexually. Unfortunately, churches tend to ignore this issue, small groups usually don't talk about sex, and most Christian books deal with more "spiritual" ideas.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a list of sexual practices categorized by "sinful" or "okay"? Is there such a list? Would everyone agree with the list? Is there a solution to this dilemma? To read more [click here]

The Road Less Traveled

"Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way. “ (Luke 6:26)

Winston Churchill spent more than 10 years in Parliament as an unpopular, lonely voice warning of the rising danger. John the Baptist spoke the truth even when it meant prison and beheading. Today, we often see how most people will panic, run or hide when the media turns against them. Whatever group I’m in, I always feel an invisible pressure to be in agreement with the majority or with the most outspoken personality. There is a natural desire to be “approved”.

Jesus’ words warn us of the dangers of fitting in with popular opinion. His message definitely runs contrary to our natural desire to be admired, approved and even applauded. As boys, many of us daydreamed of being acclaimed as heroes. But, not many dream of being unpopular, persecuted or poor because of being followers of Christ. Yet, this is reality for many Christians in much of the world.

Even in our part of the world, we are frequently tempted to just “fit in” and not cause waves. It’s all too easy to say what people want to hear or not say what they don’t want to hear. Jesus became less and less popular in spite of His miraculous powers. He said unpopular and politically incorrect things such as lustful thoughts are equivalent to adultery, divorce is not God’s design, earthly riches are dangerous to spiritual heath, and do good for your enemies (including the Romans).

Even if it is only other non-conformists, nearly everyone has someone whose approval they desire enough to modify their words and actions. In some cases, this pressure leads to good results and in others not so good. In either case, it is a significant problem if we are seeking to present an “image” or a facade so that some group of men, women or friends will speak well of us. This can cause us to shade the truth about ourselves and to neglect genuine love. Instead, our goal should be to walk in the way of truth and love no matter what others think. This is the road Jesus traveled and it is certainly the road less traveled.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:4)

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. - Frost