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A Hypocrite In The Family
But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil. -- Jesus (Matt 5:37)
I recently discover a hypocrite in our family. A couple of my sons recently said they would finish some homework “tonight”. But, when we rose in the morning the work had not been done. So, I woke them up an hour early to finish their work. They brought up excuses of “I forgot”, “I’ll do it later”, and “It’s not important.” But, it was their character quality of integrity that was important -- would they be men of their word or not?
After a couple of mini-sermons on the importance of character, being men of their word, and resisting temptation, they eventually got up and did the work. As I then got into my prayer time, my mini-sermons and these verses from Scripture continued to echo in my own mind. I suddenly realized that I had not kept my word to Ouida, my bride. I had told her that I would seek to have an in-depth conversation with her on a regular basis. But, I had not been keeping my word to her. Other things were getting higher priority. On top of that, this meant I had failed to keep my vow before God and man to love her “for better or worse”, and “in sickness and in health”. I was only keeping my promise and vow when it was convenient or suited my own selfish schedule and purposes.
So, I went to my Bride and told her what God had revealed to me about how I was a hypocrite in talking to my sons about being a man of integrity while failing to keep my word to her. I sincerely asked for her forgiveness. I was shocked when she told me that she had just been praying that God would help her with the feelings of hurt and loneliness that she had been feeling from my neglect. We prayed together and she told God that she forgave me for the hurt I had caused her and I asked God’s forgiveness and strength to keep my word.
I’m realizing how easy it is to be a liar to those I’m closest to. It’s easy and comes natural to make commitments and then find excuses to default on our obligations and responsibilities. Think about your relationship to your spouse, children, parents or co-workers. Are you making excuses for not “being there”, for not keeping your word, or not sincerely carrying through on your commitments as husband, wife, student, spiritual leader or employee? If so, let’s not whitewash the truth – we are liars, thieves and, worst of all, hypocrites. Yes, I found a hypocrite in the family and it was me.
Project:
- Let’s change our minds about the righteousness of our actions and bring our load of sin to Jesus at the cross. He has already paid the penalty we deserve.
- Let’s go to those we’ve damaged or hurt by not keeping our word and ask their forgiveness.
Your lessons are excellent, as they always are. However, I have a word of caution about using the word "hypocrite".
ReplyDeleteI think that the Lord applied the word "hypocrite" to a person who sought to put forth an image of himself that was not an accurate representation of his character, who sought to obtain esteem in the eyes of others without regard for whether he was genuinely righteousness in the eyes of God.
It is not hypocrisy to point toward the manner of life to which the Lord has called us, even if I myself am found to be out-of-bounds. On the contrary, I am obligated to turn my attention to His words, and to encourage others likewise to give heed to what He says. It appears to me that this describes what you were doing.
On the other hand, it is hypocrisy if I claim to be so concerned about righteousness that I seek to compel others to conform to certain standards while I myself am not willing to listen to anyone who wants to direct my attention some particular conduct of my own that appears to him to be out-of-bounds.
It appears to me that you were willing to allow your attention to be directed toward your own behavior. This is exactly how it is supposed to work. Yes, you are a sinner. One of the consequences of your sin is that your vision is hindered. You need others to direct your attention to things you are not seeing. The Lord has commanded them to provide this sort of assistance to you. As long as you are willing to look where they are pointing, you are walking in the path along which the Lord is leading. The other side of the coin says that you also must be willing to ask others to look at things that you believe are out-of-bounds. It is a humbling and glorious matter to participate in this gracious cleansing work of the Lord, to participate both by giving and by receiving correction.
What a great post and what a great response.
ReplyDeleteIntegrity is so hard to find in our world. But as Christians, it ought to be a given in describing our lives. Easy to say, difficult to do.