No Lack of Love, Romance or Sex

Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. (Philippians 3:1)

Recently, a study was published saying that 20-30% of married couples have an essentially sexless relationship. They defined this as having sex less than 10-12 times each year. They went on to point out that this indicated major problems in the emotional relationship of these couples and opened a major area of temptation to adultery or pornography.

Like most couples, my Bride and I have sometimes had misunderstandings about sex. Many times this was caused by my failure to communicate my concerns or feelings. Sometimes she failed to communicate or I rejected her communication or feelings in some way. Yet, sexual difficulties or miscommunication can often be just another bump in the road of learning to be one in body, soul and spirit and learning to love each other with the love that God gives us. But, consistent, continuing problems relating sexually can be symptom of a deeper problem

There can be many causes of relationships being damaged emotionally and physically but one of the most damaging is a cracked foundation. The short and seemingly simple exhortation in this verse from Phil 3:1 is immensely significant. When it comes down to it, what is it that we genuinely rejoice in or want to rejoice in? What happens when we don’t get what we want from earthly relationships or things? Can we still rejoice and give ourselves to the Lord?

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. – Jesus

When we have persistent serious relationship problems in our marriage, it may be a result of failing to put Jesus’ words into practice. Chapters 5-7 of Matthew lay out the fundamental but revolutionary ways that Jesus followers should interact. These ideas are impossible if we have not received God’s own Spirit of love. But, if we have been spiritually reborn, we have the power to “do” Jesus words.

The foundation is not just belief. It is not just accepting Jesus as our Savior. Jesus said the foundation is putting His words into practice. Jesus said that those who hear them and fail to do them are essentially fools and will get the results or fruit of a fool. This doing of His words must begin with our closest relationships or we will have the outer appearance with the false interior (a hypocrite). So, let’s each individually look at Matthew 5-7 with new eyes and ask this question, “How does this teaching apply to how I personally should respond to my spouse?” Then, let’s repent of our wrong reactions and ask God to give us power to DO His words in our marriage and family. Let's strengthen the foundation of our relationships or lay a brand new foundation based on doing Jesus' words and experience the stability of having our house built on a foundation of solid rock. A house built on the rock of doing Jesus' words will not lack a heart of love, romance or sex.

Project:

• Let’s read Matthew 5-7 for the next week.
• Let’s look for something to change in our marriage (not our spouse).
• Let’s do what Jesus says even if it is different, uncomfortable or revolutionary.
• Repeat the above for 90 days.
• Repeat for 6 months
• If you are going do this project, send me a note letting me know of your commitment. (I will set up a forum where we can share and discuss what we are learning and experiencing).