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A Huge Loss
For God commanded, "Honor your father and mother: and, he that curses father or mother; let him die the death" - Jesus (Matt 15:4)
I received a couple of questions about a recent article. about the above verse.
Question:
Answer:
Not 100% sure your point... Based on the verses you noted, I get the impression that you are saying we should do what our parents say "period", even if we don't agree with them, otherwise we will not be blessed by God and miss his "perfect" plan. When parents are not looking out for their kids best interest are their children still supposed to do what they say?
On the car subject. We can try to get a "easy pass" by listening to others and our parents that have good advice, but at some point we have to become mature not leaning on the knowledge of others. The times that I have learned the most are when I have made mistakes and gained experience and maturity from them.
We honor our parents by demonstrating how we value their love, experience, opinions and counsel. Children, who are adults, still have personal responsibility for their decisions and must still determine the best choice for their particular situation. Too often, children dishonor their parents by attacking their foundational values, minimizing their life experience, rejecting their love, and failing to seek their counsel.
Scripture encourages us to seek the advice of many counselors before going to war. Proverbs encourages each of us and especially young people (my definition of young keeps getting older) to seek wisdom by listening to God and to others with more experience. A person who makes decisions without getting counsel from those with more experience, demonstrate that they believe themselves to be wise. Scripture warns that those who believe themselves to be wise are actually fools. I've personally made too many decisions without seeking sufficient counsel and paid the price. As a result, I learned at a much greater expense than I wanted to pay. We can save a great deal of money, time and pain by learning from the experiences of others. Our parents usually have investment, objective interest, and love for us that other counselors lack. Our failure to recognize the value of their counsel will be a huge loss for us.
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12)
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. (Proverbs 12:15)
I struggle a bit with the interpretation of "honoring" in the blog. I believe honoring has more to do with ensuring your parents needs are met. For example, Ham, the son of Noah, was cursed because he didn't honor his father. Instead of protecting Noah's dignity/reputation by "covering" him as his other two sons did, he gossiped about it. In today's world, honoring one's parents might involve caring for them as they age, offering help, providing necessities, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe view point that honoring has more to do with physical needs is supported in mathew 15, the verse referenced in the blog. Jesus was rebuking the Pharasees after they "told" on the disciples for not washing their hands as outlined in the Jewish law. Jesus rebuked them by telling them they were not honoring their parents when they refused to help them in their time of need especially when they used the excuse that the money their parents needed belonged to God. (This rebuking was all about pointing out inconsistencies in their lives as they were choosing to follow the law in one are but not another.)
I think just typing this email has been time well spent because it reminds me that honoring one's parents is more about being willing to share emotional, physical, and monetary resources with one's parents. Please know that I am not discounting the importance of soliciting advise from more experienced individuals like our parents but I feel the biblical concept of honoring one's parents has a different meaning.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments. It is definitely quite important to not neglect the physical and emotional needs of our parents. Too many parents are physically taken care of in nursing homes but are emotionally abandoned. It is great that you are concerned with meeting the emotional needs of your parents.
ReplyDeleteOur perspectives and understanding will change as we go through life. It might be interesting for each of us to discuss our understanding of the biblical concept of honoring one's parents with our parents. I suspect that meeting physical needs while communicating disrespect will not be perceived as honor. But, if children are sensitive to their parent's emotional needs then disrespect will not be a problem.
Ham's descendants were cursed because he took pleasure in seeing his father's nakedness and made a joke out of it. They were cursed because of embracing Ham's disrespect and rejection of Noah's values. Ham had apparently taught these bad attitudes to his own son Canaan. Now, Ham was communicating that wrong attitude to his brothers: Shem and Japheth. Canaan was not cursed by Noah's words. Rather Noah was just stating the facts. Canaan would be cursed because he had acquired Ham's values of being self-centered and self-seeking. Ultimately, multi-generational blessing flows through men who are God fearing, God centered and God seeking.