Dig out the flashlight

Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Ps 119:105)

We were wanting to dig some luggage out of the attic last night. But, we couldn't see it in the darkness. Instead of fumbling around and trying to feel our way, we turned on a flashlight. What a difference it made!

I'm frequently tempted to think I don't have time for reading, meditating and prayer. But, in reality, I will waste a huge amount of life if I am wondering in darkness.

If the above verse is true, how much light is in your life today? Let's dig out the flashlight.

It Colors Every Choice

"but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

God gives each of us gifts, talents, time and choices. Our choices determine what happens to the gifts, talents, and time. There is one fundamental choice that will drive and color all the others. Will I serve myself, do what I feel like, and seek to expand my self image or will I serve the Lord, doing what I may not always feel like and expanding His image? Let us forget our past poor choices and reach for the high calling of living in and for Christ. Life in Christ is only possible if Christ is living in us. He will live in us if we genuinely repent of serving self and trust Jesus for direction, purpose and fulfillment.

This book may be of interest to you. If you've already read it let me know what you think of it.

=== from Paul Byerly ====
One of you sent me a link to a story about John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert . Dr. Gottman is a mathematician who has found ways to apply math to couples and very accurately predict who will stay married and who will not, or more specifically to tell with better than 90% accuracy what is going to happen to a relationship over the next three years. By looking at what is done by couples cope well versus those who do not, Gottman has found ways of significantly helping 75% of couples in very short periods of time.


A few interesting tid-bits from the article:

• 67% of couples have a significant decrease in relationship happiness in the first 3 years following the birth of their first child.
• 96% of the time the way a conflict goes for the first 3 minutes determines how it goes for the rest of the discussion.
• 69% of the time couples are talking about the same issues year after year - and these are usually based on basic things like personality differences.
• Sharing dreams had a huge positive impact on couples.
• Couples who have no connection, but put on a good marriage show, tend to divorce 16-22 years after they wed.
• Similar situations tend to cause women fear and men anger.

I've not read Gottman's book, but it's on it's way from Amazon!
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Only On Father's Day

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you. (Exodus 20)

I recently spoke to a man who had a portrait of his grandfather in his office. When I asked about it, he said that his grandfather was the greatest man that ever lived. Then he paused and said, "except for One." This man honored his grandfather in his heart and in his words. His honor was obviously sincere.

This commandment to honor is repeated many times in the Bible. And, this is the season that we are encouraged by business to show honor by finding things to buy for our parents. Yet, like the rest of the Ten Commandments, this commandment can be genuinely obeyed only when our actions and words are a sincere manifestation of our internal thoughts and attitudes. A person who speaks to his mother only at Christmas and Mother's day obviously has a relationship problem and does not genuinely love and honor her.

The quality of our honor and respect for our parents is not manifest in occasional gifts but in the positive energy of our relationship. If we find their presence tiresome, their ideas boring and generally have more important things to do than to talk to them, then our relationship will manifest our attitudes with infrequent visits and conversation. Also, if we speak of them to others with respect and honor, when they are not around, it demonstrates that our words come from our heart rather than just our lips.

" A son honors his father, and a servant his master Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?' says the LORD of hosts to you, .. Malachi 1

In the same way, the quality of our honor and love for God is shown in the energy of our relationship with Him. Do we actually desire to hear His words and understand His ideas? Or, do we find time listening and talking to Him to be boring, tiresome and less important than reading the news or watching our favorite sports entertainment? Do we honor Him with purified hearts or do we enter into "worship" or "communion" with hidden sins. Do we bring hatred and resentment to the table? Maybe we bring hatred toward a relative, spouse, ex-spouse, or neighbor? If we bring resentment and hatred to worship, then we clearly haven't honored God's desire and command to do all we can to be reconciled.

In some of the other commandments, God makes it clear that He desires us to honor and respect Him. In Jesus, God has made it very clear the extremes that He will go to in order to be reconciled with us. Yet, the choice of entering into a genuine relationship with Him depends on us changing our minds about sin and about our priorities. It has been estimated that, in the United States, at least 80% of those who call themselves Christian are actually false converts. They believe in Jesus but they have not truly repented of their wrong desires, their favorites sins and especially of being boss of their own lives. Let's test ourselves. Do I really want God's will and direction in my life? If so, when was the last time I read the Bible to see how it applied to my life? Was it today or only on Sunday, Christmas, Easter, or Father's Day?

Loving Solutions

This book sounds like one that could be very helpful and is one that I will be reading soon. I suspect each of us sometimes falls into the category of being a difficult spouse (I know I am sometimes a challenge to live with) or having a difficult spouse. Even if we have a wonderful marriage and there are no problems between us and our spouse, there will be friends and relatives that we could possibly help with this information. Have any of you read it? If so, please comment on the book here.

A book recommendation: Loving Solutions - by Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages )

The book for those married to difficult or unresponsive spouses, Loving Solutions shares practical insight into dealing with the irresponsible, workaholic, controlling, uncommunicative, verbally abusive, physically abusive, sexually abused, unfaithful, alcoholic, drug abusing, or depressed spouse. At best it will help you do things that will lead to a positive change, at worst it will help you deal with the situation in a way that reduces your frustration.