Healthy Children

Child Health Care
Ouida and I started out following very medically conservative procedures for childbirth and early childhood health procedures. This included Ouida almost being knocked out with gas during delivery and on a later pregnancy she received an epidural. But, as more children came along and our knowledge and experience grew, we discovered that it was not necessary to treat pregnancy, childbirth and every childhood illness as a potential major medical emergency. The following website http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/birth.htm#chems points out some of the possible long term dangers of currently standard medical practices. It also provides alternative ideas for healthy births and babies. Several of the sources listed on this website are doctors who are speaking out. Some of the practices that are standard in the United States are not standard in other countries. Many countries have better health statistics for births, babies and children then the U.S. The reasons behind standard medical protocols can be complex and sometimes have more foundation in legal concerns than in medical issues. The ideas discussed on this website and standard medical practices should both be carefully researched by parents concerned with giving the best in medical care to their children. Gather some questions and quiz your doctor. But, even though it's his responsibility to be knowledgeable on standard procedures, alternative treatments and their related issues and to be able to communicate it to you, his hands may be tied when it comes to any possibility of recommending a treatment outside those recognized as standard protocols.

Child Discipline
A Love and Logic child discipline class will be offered at RE on Tuesday nights beginning in January. We've heard some of the material and highly recommend it.

We live in a complex world but we are promised wisdom if you ask for it in faith. Wisdom is definitely needed in the care and raising of our children.

Housework cuts breast cancer risk

Riding Forth in Tremendous Power

He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies which are in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, were following Him on white horses. (Revelation 19:13,14)

Too many times, I’ve responded wrong when my authority as a father was challenged by one of our older children. My natural response was to get angry and to demand obedience and respect. Yet, this response will cause a natural reaction on their part of losing respect and, at best, pretending obedience. The opposite approach, when I’ve used it, has yielded much better results. This approach is to calmly try to more fully understand their perspective, pressures and concerns. We may end up still expecting obedience but they should feel like we understand where they are coming from. To not respond naturally, I need a power outside myself.

Anyone who is a follower of Jesus is a warrior in His army. We are to be led by the One who shed His blood for us – the living Word of God. We are to be white and clean with every sin cleansed by His blood, being constantly purified and going into the battle mounted on a white horse. There can be no hidden sin that we carefully keep covered and deny. Hidden sin will eventually bring forth its fruit – weakness and Death. This is not necessarily an early physical death. But, it can often mean death to ministry, death to relationships, and death to faith. Hidden sin will almost always force us into wrong responses.

The image of all Jesus' followers being mounted on white horses speaks of the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. When I respond to circumstances according to what comes naturally, I’ve gotten off the horse and I’m trying to advance in my own strength. This is like using a wet noodle for a sword. I can really mess things up. In contrast, when I pause and pray for God’s way of responding and ask His grace to have the right attitude, I have more of a chance of embracing God’s power and love in my response. His ways are often totally different than my natural response.

If I take time to analyze my natural direction and then consider what the opposite direction is, I often discover a surprising and healing way. Ask God now to remind you the next time you are tempted to immediately react to a situation. Ask Him to remind you to take a few moments to consider the opposite response. Whatever it is, you won’t want to do it. You won’t feel like doing it. But, if you ask for God’s grace and power, you can do it. If you do this, you will be mounted on a white horse and riding forth in the tremendous power of Love.

Gold in the Trashcan

He who gives attention to the word will find good,
And blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. (Proverbs 16:20)

There have been many times when I listened to the Truth but did not hear it and read the Bible without genuine comprehension. A truth is not fully heard and understood until it causes one’s life to change. Sometimes truth is not even recognized when it appears because it might be the answer to a question that we are not yet asking, it may be outside our “box” of what we consider valid possibilities, or we may just be distracted.

But, life in this world has a way of eventually “getting our attention” and making us sensitive to the truths God wants us to hear and apply. Anything that gets us to hearing, changing and walking in the truth of God’s grace, love and rightness is a good thing even if it seems to be a bad circumstance. Deaths, accidents, illness and relationship problems are some painful circumstances that get our focused attention. But, there are easier ways.

One way is to admit our deafness, blindness and cold heart and ask God for ears to hear, eyes to see His light, and the heart of a seeker. A seeker will approach the hearing or reading of God’s Word and truths with the idea that he wants to find a golden nugget that will change his life. These are often little nuggets that cause little but vital changes. It could be something “little” like David writing down his prayers or daily practicing with his sling or his harp. Or, it could be something seemingly bigger as when Daniel decided to stand on a conviction about his diet. The change could be of earthquake magnitude as when Abraham left his county and people to go wherever God led him. The truth became golden nuggets in the life of these boys and men. We know their names and stories because God's Word had an effect in flesh and blood. What are we missing in our own lives?

If we are not daily reading or hearing then we are not particularly interested in looking for God’s gold for our lives and God will work to get our attention refocused. In contrast, committed lottery players may spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars hoping to eventually hit the jackpot. They carefully check the numbers on their tickets and are cautious to not throw away a winning ticket. If we could see with God's eyes the riches that God lays before each of us, we would be shocked and overwhelmed. But, we really are blind and often do not recognize genuine riches until they are lost. When we hear truth without it affecting our life, we are essentially tossing a nugget or even a life-transforming bucket of gold into the trash bin.

Project:

• Daily read Scripture with a notepad to record something that, by God’s grace, you will change in your life.
• Listen to sermons with the diligence aim of getting a truth that you will apply.
• Immediately after sermons or lessons, discuss with others what nuggets were heard and will be applied.
• Pray frequently for God's power to seek, hear, see and do.
  

For with you is the fountain of life: in your light shall we see light. - Psalm 36:9

Lord, grace each of us that read this with desire and ability to become Seekers of Truth and Doers of your Word. Give us a heart thirsting for your ways.

Unconditional Respect???

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5)

A few years ago, a woman I know at work mentioned that she had said to her husband that he could have a big screen TV once he got some of the rooms in their house painted. Her words and attitude painted a picture of a competent Mom getting her lazy son to help out. In reality, her husband was and is a highly respected engineer.

Many of us live in two types of worlds: a business world where we are competent and move in relationships of respect; and a family world of love based relationships where we often face challenges outside our training and competencies. Often men do not understand how to live and communicate love as well as their wives. On the other hand, some women have difficultly with the command to respect their husband and may, instead, tend to love their husband in a way that communicates that he is just a big child.

Does Respect Trump Love?

It has been said and history seems to confirm that men understand respect and even put a higher priority on being respected than on being loved. Wives are often more competent than their husbands in caring for, understanding and raising the family. Why should they respect their husbands?

Husbands are given responsibility for which they will be held accountable. They are to be providers who give food, shelter and clothing. Fathers are to understand, teach and discipline the children. They are to lead the way in seeking God Kingdom and His righteousness. These are grave and heavy responsibilities for which each of us fathers will be called to give account. Even though no husband completely fulfills these responsibilities, every husband should be respected because of his calling and his efforts to fulfill any of them.

How Can We Show Respect?

While genuine love means laying down our lives, respect means to lift up. Children are not naturally respectful. They learn much about it from their mothers. Wives are called to lift up their husbands before their children and friends. A husband may lacking in many ways and may even seem to be little more than a boy at heart but he should be respected because he is called as a leader toward Jesus, a teacher of future generations, a provider for his family and a warrior against evil.

Being respectful means praying for them, working to help them find success in their responsibilities, and speaking highly of them to friends and children. Our culture tends to make fun of boys and men and to belittle husbands and fathers. Demonstrating respect for husbands and fathers has become counter-cultural. But, it is a key ingredient in a successful marriage and family.

The Cost of Disrespect

A few years ago, I was at retreat for Christian men. We were in a small group where challenges and needs were being shared. One very successful man was almost in tears as he told of how his wife usually expressed disdain for his ideas and goals.

A man who is not respected by his wife will be tempted to find respect outside of his marriage. He may become a workaholic, he may find another woman who seems to respect him, or he may just give up and drop out. Disrespect may undermine the very goals that are most important to a wife. Don’t wait to show respect for your husband or father until he has earned it. Express respect for him because of the position he is in and the responsibility he bears even when things don’t seem to be going well.

Finding Power To Give Respect

From the perspective of a wife's responsibilities, the success of her marriage and family may depend more on respect than love. This does not come naturally from Self. The ability of a man to give unconditional love and the ability of a woman to give unconditional respect depends on them emptying themselves and receiving God's perspective, guidance and power to give love to the unlovely and respect to the incompetent.

Project:

• Consider who is in a position of authority over you.
• Ask God for grace to show respect to them
• Pray for them.
• Pray for and Seek ways to help them achieve their responsibilities
• Find ways to lift them up before others

Hot Dates, Death Spirals and Energy Cycles

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5)

Genuine love always requires death. If we are to sincerely love our wife, husband, children or anyone else then we will be required to lay down “Self” interests. This seems to come a little more naturally to mothers and wives than to husbands. Women seem to be more tuned into the true language of love while men must work to learn it. But, in either case, we can not completely die to Self in our natural ability. To fully empty ourselves, we must find help beyond ourselves. This love is only possible for those who get power from God to move past the barriers and responses of the natural man.

Suppose a husband and wife have arranged a “hot date” and are both looking forward to it. But, when the time comes, the husband or wife is exhausted emotionally or physically or both. To praise God and rejoice in everything is naturally impossible. It can be done only as we admit our weakness, seek God for grace and receive His help for strength. Self interests may cause some men to make unreasonable demands, others may just manifest a bad attitude but we are called to fully die to self-interests and fully love.

Whatever our position in life, we will face disappointment or aggravation. Our natural response will almost certainly be the wrong one. Anyone who neglects his relationship with Jesus will miss out on the ability to respond in ways that go beyond his natural abilities and habits and this will often lead to negative cycles of wrong responses. These cycles can become relationship death spirals. But, if we can empty ourselves and receive God's grace we can respond in genuine love. When this happens we break out of the natural death spiral and enter into a cycle of energy, growth and life.

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15)