There Appears To Be Only Death

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." --Jesus (Matthew 19:6)

Dear X,

While I can not fully appreciate your suffering because I have not been through the total breakdown of a marriage relationship, every man or woman who has been married for several years, has probably seen at least glimpses of that pain in their marriages. Even though Jesus indicated divorce could happen, He made it clear that it would be like being physically torn apart. So, tremendous pain and suffering is and will be the result. Studies show that children are better off in a family with estranged parents living in the same house than when they separate or get divorced. Separation and divorce seem like a way to rest from the pain of the relationship. But, the suffering goes on through the children. And, it can be terrible to see their suffering.

So, while you have resentment toward your wife and no longer know the inner person, she is the mother of your children and the person that you vowed before God and man to love whether well or sick (and she is spiritually sick), rich or poor and through thick and thin. It's hard to say and harder to do, but if you don't fight this divorce tooth and toenail, you will join in the responsibility for whatever crop it produces in your children. Whether you end up divorced or not, you are called to continue to do all you can to be reconciled.

Consider how we rejected God. We turned against God. We joined up with Satan and gave him our loyalty. I did not desire a relationship with the Lover of my soul. But, God did not just turn his back on us and say, "Go to hell." He struggled for us through our rejection, ridicule, flogging and crucifixion. Jesus' life and death says, "I will love you even though I don't know the person you have become. I will love you even though you hate me. I will love you no matter what you do to me."

Even though you admit you are partly at fault in the relationship breakdown, you do not have to be a party to the decision to blow it up. You are the father of your children and, for their sake, you are called to lay down your desires for another love relationship and to continue to struggle in this relationship to give them a better future. I'm sure you realize that you do not have the strength for this approach. But, God will give you grace for it if you will determine to stand by your word and fight for your children and your wife. If you win, the bride you married that seems to have died will reappear someday and will thank you. Your children will thank you for fighting to keep your vow. But now, she will hate you for taking this position. You have been terribly wounded. Are you a man of your word? Will you keep your vow that you made to God? God wants to give you grace. I know you do not want to fight on and do not want to hear this. You can do it. Do it for your children, do it for the bride that you married that seems to have died, and do it for God who died for you to see you become his son. Pray for grace to be Jesus to your family. He will give you grace to carry this cross and even to be crucified. God can bring new life where there appears to be only death.

God's desire for each of us:
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
And your land, "Married";
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married. (Isaiah 62:4)

Tips for Men Wanting To Be Successful

The president of a very successful company would follow a curious procedure when he was considering hiring a new executive. First, he would take the prospective executive out to eat at a restaurant. When they received the menu, the president would carefully watch to see if the man looked at the food first or the price first. If he focused on the food before checking the price, he failed the test.

During the meal, the president would ask his guest to pour half a glass of water for him. If the water went well beyond the halfway mark, this test was failed for not following instructions. These tests might seem insignificant to us, but not for this CEO. He has learned through much experience the wisdom of God’s three tests of a faithful man.

-- The character of a servant is revealed in little decisions. --

The three tests of a faithful servant are given to us in Luke 16:10–13. They are:

1. Being faithful in little things.
2. Being faithful with money.
3. Being faithful in carrying out another man’s work.

Those who pass these three tests are likely to have the following qualities, which are essential qualities of a faithful servant:

* Availability: Adjusting my schedule in order to accomplish the tasks that are assigned to me. This quality is the result of choosing to serve another rather than ourselves.

* Initiative: Seeing what needs to be done and doing it. All achievement begins with initiative. God demonstrated initiative when He created the world and when He provided redemption for us through Christ.

* Diligence: Accepting each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my resources to accomplish it. A diligent man will never lack for a job, because his boss cannot afford to lose him.

* Creativity: Finding a new and more efficient approach to accomplish a project. Every task will encounter obstacles that stop the average worker but become exciting challenges to the creative servant.

* Wisdom: Choosing the right course by listening to the counsel of God and others. A creative idea may be a foolish solution. A wise and creative person will act in harmony with the laws of nature and of God.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean [obscure] men” (Proverbs 22:29).

I have known many men who are in constant jeopardy of losing their jobs because they do not excel in these five essential qualities. It would be wise to go to a trusted friend and ask him to rate your demonstration of each quality on a scale of 1–10. Remember that the wounds of a true friend are faithful (see Proverbs 27:6), and thank him for his honesty. Then, let’s do all we can to develop these vital qualities so that we can be honorable examples of a servant of Christ. (from Daily Success)

Our attitude in "little" things like seemingly unimportant leisure minutes, our boss's preferences or even care of tools or possessions will carry over to things that are of definite importance to us. We will try hard to be successful in the big things but the automatic responses of our attitudes will, in many cases, determine whether we actually achieve all our goals. May God help us to see where our attitudes need adjustment and give us grace to change.

… Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant” (Matthew 20:26–27).
--
Subscribe to "Daily Success" (through learning to think like Jesus).

A Bag of Stones

A man was walking late one night to a distant town when he stumbled upon something in the road. Reaching down, he picked up a small bag full of stones. He looked around and stared through the darkness, attempting to see if anyone had dropped them. Seeing no one, he decided to take the bag along with him on his long journey on a moonless night.

To pass the time, he started dropping the small stones in the river bordering the road. Plop . . . plop . . . the sound was harmless amusement for the bored traveler. When he reached his destination, he had only two stones left in the bag. Entering the town, he drew closer to a street lamp off the square. Cupping the two remaining stones in his palm, he looked at them under the yellow lamplight and saw an odd twinkle and luster to the stones. He peered closer. To his shock and dismay, the small, stones were actually diamonds!
A wise prison pastor who was able to lead many of his fellow prisoners to Christ related this small story on numerous occasions. He learned through suffering that every minute could be used to further God’s kingdom, no matter what the circumstance. He often admonished others, “You can regain lost money, but not lost time. Use your time wisely in God’s service.”

Thirty-two million seconds in every year, and each second we live is a precious gift from God to use for his purposes. If we waste them, the seconds return to God, but they will not return to us. They are gone forever, like the diamonds in the silt of the river bottom. Jesus, even while being crucified, spent his final breaths offering salvation to the robber and speaking words of comfort to his mother. He even ministered to his murderers by offering them forgiveness. Imagine how precious that time was to the thief who joined Jesus in heaven that day. Are you filling your precious moments with purpose? Ask God to show you how to redeem your time, not waste it.
(from Extreme Devotion)

Our culture, and the world in general, puts priority on things that are temporary and makes the eternal things of little value. An example of this is ignoring important relationships to work on favorite projects, watch TV, or even overdoing church activity. "The Mother's War" and "Fully Known by Our Lover", are articles that bring out how we can miss the truly important things in life in pursuit of goals that we've absorbed from the surrounding culture. The only way to get correct priorities is to be guided by God's Spirit, soak up God's Word and put His Kingship as first priority. Otherwise, we are ignorantly and carelessly tossing diamonds into the river.
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toddlers 'become aggressive'

Another warning from Pediatricians about the danger of TV for young children. But, what about the rest of us? How many of us can look back and honestly say that we wished we had watched more TV? Watching TV basically produces nothing and accomplishes very little. Let's move in the direction of less TV and more productivity in our lives. By productivity, I mean improved relationships, personal growth and just getting things done. Tonight, try turning off the tube (or computer) and try talking to your neighbor, child or spouse (if he's not watching TV).

TV toddlers 'become aggressive'

Toddlers who watch too much television can become aggressive and suffer from poor attention span, a survey claims.

The report discovered that an increasing number of children are watching television at a younger age and that nearly half of children in the study were regular viewers of television, video or DVDs by the age of three months.

The figure jumps to 90 per cent of two year olds, according to researchers who say parents are ignoring the health warnings.

Even though the study was carried out in the US, psychologists warned that it had implications for Britain.

The findings, among 1,000 children and published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine journal, come after a psychologist in the UK claimed British children were also spending hours slumped in front of the small screen and it was "the greatest unacknowledged health threat of our time". [read more..]

By Sarah Womack, Social Affairs Correspondent

Last Updated: 2:33am BST 08/05/2007

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/05/08/ntvkids08.xml