Incredible Heights

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19)

God has convicted me that I am being harsh when I get irritated, impatient and uncommunicative. This happens any time I communicate an attitude of “Hurry up and say what you have to say because I don’t feel like talking!” This verse reveals that harshness is one of the primary ways that husbands communicate a lack of love.

For me, and for many husbands, to love should mean to sincerely, patiently listen and to speak openly of inner struggles. But, our natural tendency is to gradually gravitate toward a relationship of roommates sleeping together. In contrast, marriage is designed to be intimate spiritual, emotional and physical communion. Marriage should be an illustration of the most intimate, romantic and complete communion. But, the reality is: I don’t enjoy revealing my weaknesses, struggles or even my dreams. I’ve often been a slow to learn about genuine communion.

>From my perspective, our marriage has always been a good marriage. But, somehow, it keeps getting better. One of God’s graces in our marriage has been the ways in which He has led us to learn about communication. I’m not sure even our parents have understood why we have taken advantage of so many opportunities to go to marriage seminars. They didn’t need even one. They may have wondered if we were having marriage problems. I have yet to attend a marriage seminar where we didn’t end up with better communication and a better marriage.

At the beginning of our marriage, I was very weak in the communication department. But, God has worked to gradually educate me in how to actually love my bride. I’ve needed books, videos, seminars and practice to reach the point where I can at least stumble along. I don’t recall going to a seminar that, ahead of time, I thought I needed. Yet, by the end of each seminar, I was thankful for God leading us to the experience.

The danger comes when we accept where we are and fail to keep growing. We know that exercise is important to maintaining our physical strength, flexibility and health. When we stop challenging our muscles, they begin to shrink. In addition, it takes extra work to push past plateaus. Let’s find or make an opportunity to challenge ourselves on communion in our marriage. Most of us are at a plateau. Let’s push on because incredible heights of love lie ahead.

Project: (You mean -- Actually do something?)
· Search for a Christ-centered marriage seminar and take time off with your bride.
· Begin a new communication project to daily listen and speak love.
· Commit to an annual time to grow in love through genuine communication.
· Here are a couple of seminars to consider:
The DNA of Relationships (http://www.dnaofrelationships.com/conferences/ )
Marriage Enrichment Conference (http://dallas.iblp.org/couples.htm )
· We also have a couple of video seminars available. Contact us if you’re interested in details.
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* (If you're single, find a seminar to help you grow closer to the Lover of your soul.)