I win!

“Are you for us or for our adversaries?” (Joshua 5:13)

A young lady recently came to us for prayer for the relationships in her family. Her husband is depressed and isolating himself and her children are rebelling. Her attempts to bring the family together only seem to make things worse.

In any disagreement, it is natural for each person to believe that his point of view and ideas are right. If we believed our ideas were wrong then we would obviously change them. In any meaningful relationship, there will come points of disagreement and, normally, we will each try to change the other person’s mind. The stronger the personalities involved, the greater the possibility of an adversarial relationship becoming a habit. In our closest relationships, we can forget that we’re on the same team and that if the other person in the relationship is a loser then the whole team loses. We may even ask God to change or defeat the other person. When that doesn’t seem to happen then we may be asking the same question as Joshua, “Are you for us or for our adversaries?”

Our perspective should be totally different. In reality, God has His objectives and purposes which may be much different than those held by the adversaries in a relationship. It is obvious that husband and wife are a team. This is also true of most of our close relationships. If either spouse or party is a loser then the other is also a loser. Our attitude should be one of finding solutions that both parties agree are winners. Many times this can be accomplished only through God’s grace to give us His perspective. When we come to a point of conflict, it is vital to not bulldoze a “solution”, withdraw from the relationship or take the “My way or the highway” attitude. Rather we should bow before the Lord of the Universe and ask, “What has my Lord to say to his servant?” (Joshua 5:14) It may take a little time, but if we take the attitude that there will be no losers on the team and keep seeking God's direction, we will eventually find a solution that is agreeable to both parties. The goal is to find God’s direction because then, “We win.” The thought “I win!”, means I lost.

Some more of the story
A young lady recently came to us for prayer for the relationships in her family. Her husband is depressed and isolating himself and her attempts to bring the family together only seem to make things worse. When I asked her to consider coming to our new group on "The DNA of Relationships" to learn to relate in new ways, she said that they were very happy with the small group they were already in. ??? If we keep doing the same things then we will continue to get the same results. Try something new!

If you sincerely want to improve your relationships, try doing something different. Join us in investigating, “The DNA of Relationships” by Gary Smalley. It has some great insights and ideas that will change your perspective and relationships. We will be hosting a group to do this. If you are interested, please contact us at 903-587-2312 or send an email to gerry@boydproductions.com.

For more information, see http://dnaofrelationships.com/therevolution/whatisit.html.