I Love Me

For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall form the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:8)

This morning, when we were about to get up, my bride told me, “I love you.” My thoughts suddenly spun off into analysis. I'm sure such analytical spinouts sometimes stress her patience.

Husbands and wives can fall into the trap of demanding “love” from their spouse. "If you love me, you will give me sex when I want it." "If you love me, you will listen to me whenever I need to talk." "If you love me, you will keep the house orderly." "If you love me, you will tell me meaningful things about yourself." There is only one person in the world that we can control and change and it’s not our spouse. Instead of asking whether our spouse, child, or parent is expressing love, each of us ought to look to our own attitude. Is my own love of the love that Christ manifested? Or, is it an expression of self-centeredness, self-indulgence and self-love? Our culture is constantly blasting us with the values of sensual, selfish love. “Watch out for number one.” “Grab the Gusto.” “You deserve the best.” If we follow these messages, we will end up trying to change, control or cheat the other person and we will inevitably end up in a magnificent mess.

What does a person mean when they say, “I love you”? Christ’s life, death and resurrection is a manifestation of the pure love of God -- a love that has no reserve but totally gives. A love focused on the goal of what’s best for the other person. This genuine love does not demand reformation before it is given. But, once it is accepted, it leads to purity, peace and joy. When we love with God’s love, we are not only ready to die for that other person in theory; but, every day we actually do lay down our lives in practical ways. We do this by no longer demanding that the other person change and, instead, we start searching for ways to genuinely meet the highest needs of the other person. Our focus is not just their physical or emotional needs but also their spiritual needs.

“I love you.” This short sentence can mean I am ready, willing and am, even now, dying to myself for you. “I love you” can also be used to manipulate the other person. It might actually mean, “I love you but if you want me to keep on loving you then you better do what I want.”

“I love you.” Too many women have sacrificed their virginity to hear this short sentence. Too many men have sacrificed their greatest treasures, highest goals and best dreams to hear a pretty girl say this to him. The mouth can speak one message but a contradictory message may be spoken by attitudes and actions. This two-faced type of “I love you” is a fraud and actually means, “I love me.”

Project:
Let’s repent of our selfish attitudes.
Let’s ask God for more of His love.
Let’s sow to the Spirit -- the Spirit of Genuine Love.
Let's look for a way to give our best for someone else's best.
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