Crucibles and Jigsaw Puzzles

I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. (John 17:23)

When I first make friends with a person, it is frequently because there is something about that person that I find encouraging or pleasing. As time goes by, that person may begin to bump against some of the sharp points of my personality or habits. I wish these sharp points were more rare. If I respond by resenting that person for irritating, criticizing or even cursing me, then I will tend to isolate myself from that person. Others may respond by trying to make the other person change. "This is me. You'll just have to get used to it!" Resentment, aggression or withdrawal is a natural response when our relationships are Self-centered.

The natural man tends to make and maintain relationships for selfish reasons. If the relationship begins to put pressure on him to change, then a choice must be made. Will he refuse to die to Self and thus turn away from becoming a better person? Will he (or she) demand his own way? In any relationship, genuine unity will require change and movement toward perfection.

We each have many relationships where we can choose to die to self and become more like Christ. Many of those relationships are easy to back away from. But, marriage is the most intense crucible for personal refinement because of the commitment to intimately share all aspects of life through “better or worse”. The good news is that as we each deny ourselves and take up our cross (admitting personal shortcomings and accepting personal change) then the relationship will begin to be like a jigsaw puzzle fitting together. Our relationship with God is one of these relationships. We can choose to grow closer and more intimate with God or to withdraw and be an isolated Self. A marriage growing in genuine intimacy between two souls combined with a deepening relationship with God will display an increasing manifestation of genuine love. The jigsaw puzzle of such a marriage will gradually reveal an image of God’s own heart.

Project:
Thank God when you feel irritated, criticized or cursed.
Ask God how you need to change or respond.
Ask for and expect God to give you grace to respond as Christ would.

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt 5:44)